Fight

I'm sorry I've been absent. My heart has been heavy. Me and Tiffany had a fight and for a while I wasn't sure we were going to make it through. It started from nothing -- a comment about dirty dishes -- and worked its way into one of the biggest fights we've had.

We've been together for ten years now and I thought we'd worked through our kinks, but I suppose now that the kids are grown and off to college we have to get used to it just being us. It's never been just the two of us.

She joked about doing the dishes after she'd cooked. If she cooks I'll usually do the dishes, but I'd had a long day and didn't have it in me to do the simplest of chores. I was short and took her joking too seriously and suddenly a joke became a disagreement, which rolled right along into a full blown fight.

She accused me of being selfish, I accused her of the same and worse. I needed a break, one night off; she needed to feel appreciated. We yelled, no one listened, doors were slammed and car wheels screeched out of the driveway. We lost each other in those moments and we lost sight of anything outside of our own needs.

I stayed away for over a week; I ignored her calls, texts, and emails. I was ashamed of my behavior and the pain I'd caused Tiffany. She didn't deserve the things I said. All my old insecurities flooded back and suddenly my angel had fallen to the darkest parts of hell. But really, I'd fallen into the darkness; unable to claw my way out, I immersed myself in it and shut out my angel's light.

But our love is strong and eventually we were able to see each other again, to see the truth of who we are and the love we share. We fell back into each other and have come out stronger for what we endured.

Sleep

It’s 3:33 in the morning and I can’t sleep... I decided to pick up Sarah’s diary again and see if I can find any more clues... I’m trying to understand where she was coming from. What she was thinking... I’m reading between the lines and wondering if maybe I will fall asleep and dream something, a clue... something I can’t see in the waking hours...

April 15, 1994

Why? Oh my god, why? This cannot be happening to me. What the hell do they want from me? They took the last thing that I had left on this earth that I truly loved. We went to the end of time together, then held each other and cried, ‘cause there was no where else to go but back!

I just wish I understood... I’m going back to sleep. I’ll post this tomorrow maybe you guys can help me understand...

Neighbors

It’s rare to have a happy ending to a story like Amanda Berry’s. You heard about her, right? The girl who’s been missing for a decade and was recently rescued by Charles Ramsey, the neighbor of her kidnapper… And I’m sure you've seen the video of Ramsey’s interview, it’s viral beyond viral and offers more than the superficial laughs from his unintentional one-liners like, "I barbecue with this dude. We eat ribs and whatnot and listen to salsa music." Look beyond the delivery of Ramsey’s statements to the words what they mean. They were neighbors for a year and not Ramsey, or any of their other neighbors had a clue that three missing women and a child had been captive on their street. It makes me wonder, how well do we know our neighbors?

Do you know who lives next door to you? Across the hall? Down the street? The people in this neighborhood thought they did -- they socialized with Ariel Castro, they let him take their children to the park, they ate with him and did other normal, neighborly things with him. He even helped look for one of the girls who he abducted, and consoled her family! The whole time, he had the three women and a child hostage in his house.

I remember when Erika's family was found dead. They found her remains with those of her twin sister. I remember Sarah's shock when learning Ericka had a sister that Sarah never knew about. Erika was Sarah's best friend before me -- how do you not know your best friend has a twin sister? Things aren't always what they seem.

I'm glad that the families of Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight, and Gina Dejesus have their daughters, sisters and granddaughters home. As hard as it will be to uncover the truth of what happened to them during their captivity, it will allow them all to begin to heal. I wish Sarah could have that. I wish we knew what happened to her and I wonder if we'll ever know what really happened so many years ago to Ericka, Owen, Jackie & Sarah's family. Until we find Sarah, none of us can ever really begin to heal. We don't have a lot of clues, but Sarah leaves us breadcrumbs from time to time. Between the sightings and her diary, there are clues. I still can't believe people don't believe me... how can you not believe when there's so much evidence?

The truth is revealed when we look beneath the surface. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't assume what you see is all there is.