Evidence

From my experience reality is always stranger than fiction. And where fiction gets strange my guess is that it’s firmly based on reality. My bet is that the strangest scenes from movies, the ones that seem completely unreal are often based on true crime stories that boggle our minds. 

I've been studying forensic science, and I watch an insane amount of real crime shows. What have I learned? There’s no perfect crime and even when there are no witnesses the tale will be told. Little bits of evidence, blood stains that seep through the floor and aren't removed by scouring and bleaching the surface. Small spots of blood splatter revealed by keen eyes and technology. Bugs and natural processes exposing the timeline, when death occurred. Lungs filled with soot when killers attempt to dispose of bodies, burning them still alive.

Every little detail tells a part of the story. Hair, finger nails wearing the nail polish last seen on the missing person, paint chips, phone records, strange behavior the list is endless. I don’t remember if Sarah was wearing nail polish the last time I saw her... Even with all of this knowledge and information, Sarah’s body has never been found. Her blood, her painted toenail, no trace of anything. I guess that’s why I believe that she’s out there, somewhere. Maybe reading this right now...   

Terrorism

In the wake of the tragedy of the Boston bombing, I think of the terror felt by those who experienced the bombing as well as their loved ones who waited for word that their mothers, husbands, daughters, sons, brothers... were okay.

How horrible to be wrought with the fear of not knowing. I remember so many years ago, before 9/11, before shoe bombs at airports and anthrax in letters, before the world was changed forever... I remember the feeling of not knowing, it was more than some can take... how do you move forward if you can't surely say your parents are dead or alive? Sarah's descent into a terrific terror began when her parents went missing... their bodies were never found.... her brother was implicated in their disappearance... her mother's wedding ring was ultimately found in the room where they found Sarah's Diary.

So many questions remain unanswered. I still wonder why about so many things, but I know the terror Sarah felt was real. She believed she was being watched & followed by people she once called friends. She was never quite right after Erika's body was found, but that incident in San Francisco really freaked her out...

Terror comes in many forms... It dwells in the lingering question of What if? and hides around every dark corner. What if they find me today? What if they catch me today? What if they're watching me right now? What if they don't actually exist? What if it's all in my head...

Why?

I received this anonymous email in my inbox the other day. It really made me wonder why... why I keep writing and searching... why we do anything for that matter. After all these years why I still believe when there are a lot of people out there questioning if Sarah’s diary is even real...

Hi Heather,

If that’s your real name... I recently found out about Sarah’s Diary via a friend’s facebook page. I followed the link and started to check out her videos and pictures. Some were really pretty but deep and dark, and some of the posts started me thinking about a lot of stuff from my own life. Anyway, I was curious so I bought the ebook of Sarah’s Diary and read it in a weekend. Now I’m even more confused.

When I read your blog I see you talk about your interactions with Sarah, how much you miss her and are still looking for her. Are you for real though? I can’t tell if she is fact or fiction.

The main questions going through my head are, Why would you still be looking after all this time? Don’t you want closure... I mean after all that... everyone pretty much ending up dead and the diary being found at such a gruesome crime scene, I mean if Sarah was really around however many years ago don’t you think she’s probably dead now too? Those missing persons cases you write about, most of those seem to end with a dead body...

I’m not trying to upset you I just want to know now too. Is Sarah’s Diary really real? Why do you keep looking? What makes you think she might still be out there, alive?

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Why have I been thinking about this anonymous letter for 5 days now? I want to respond, I want to know the answers to those questions too...