The Results

- This is the answer to my experiment –

We judge people and condemn people with our judgments and opinions. Sometimes we need, or use, a consensus to condemn a person. Once condemned, how does a person escape the confines of condemnation? The guilty are convicted by the innocent? Who is innocent? Is my sin worse than yours? Is it difference in sin which makes us innocent or is it the consensus of the time which determines our condemnation? I'm not speaking on criminal acts. Criminal acts cannot begin to equal the condemnation and accusations we place on subjects and each other every day. Most of the time these judgments and opinions are invalid.
Sarah, you know better than anyone how awful it is to be accused. People have read your story and come back to me asking, "How didn't you know?" I say, "know what?" They say, "know your friend did all of those horrible things." I always respond to those people the same, " I don't know if she's done anything." It amazes me how a person who wasn't somewhere can no more than a person who was. How do you know anything outside your own experience?
Amy's party was fun. Tiffany and I saw a lot of our old friends from group and a lot of my co-workers were there. Amy and I had a real good talk about things in general. I realized during our conversation that her transition was taking a little longer than mine. It's equivalent to me graduating from college starting my new life and career, while she's still at college trying to decide her major. Instead of me understanding where I came from and the process it took me to get there, I treated the situation with arrogance and disdain. I viewed Amy's struggle to find herself with condemnation. During our talk, I removed my opinions and judgments which allowed me to hear her words in a new way. I no longer heard her as a selfish, confused, good for nothing person. I now heard her as someone who still struggled to find the things which make her happy. Someone who went through this struggle just like me.
Amy and I made plans to have dinner in the future. Nothing on the books yet but these are plans I definitely intend to keep. You see, Amy understands where am in my life. Amy knows that I had graduated and found what I was looking for way back then. She told me she hoped to find a relationship which can give her comfort. She still spoke about guys who could care less about her, but I didn't say anything. I figured she find what she wanted someday.
Sometimes in life we don't allow people to be who they are. We expect them to have the same way of understanding life that we do but that's just not always the case. We can't apply our way of thinking and processing information to someone else's way of thinking and processing information. This is not so much a blow to them as it is to us. Us being the people who apply unfair standards to people who don't deserve our judgments and opinions. We do grow past people but that doesn't mean our little brothers and sisters don't need our guidance and support. They don't need us to tell them what to do. They just need us to be there. We have to understand there's a difference in giving someone credit for being a good person vs. them doing what we think they should do. I'd rather have one really good person than a thousand people I can tell what to do. If you dislike a good person because they're not who you think they should be, then you should evaluate your judgments and opinions.
I'm here Cuddlebug. I miss you so much. I hope this serves you well wherever you are. I know we're underneath the same sun, standing on the same earth, and that's what makes me feel close to you. Love you Cuddlebug.