Blackout

I found myself staring in the mirror this morning.  It wasn't like I walked into the bathroom and got stuck looking at myself in the mirror.  I didn't begin brushing my teeth and then find myself stuck in the mirror.  I really don't know how I got there.  I... I woke up looking at myself in the mirror.  Maybe if this hadn't happened before I would've been scared, but it's been like this all my life.  I don't know if my body is in tune with my subconscious to the point wher I'm possessed by my unknown, uncontrolled thoughts, but I find myself coming out of this trance-like state a lot.  I tell my friends it's nothing when I come to.  They think I'm spacey for that.  I just tune out and come back to reality some place else.  It's weird.  I'm embarrassed for telling people about this, but since I'm not really using my last name I feel like I have some room to be free. 

Sarah, you know already.  I don't have to explain this to you.  It's getting worse.  I thought I was getting it under control, but I keep doing it.  Do you remember the first night it happened?  I'm sure you do.  You noticed it right away... I thought it was because of how perceptive you always are.  You have this natural ability to read people.  I thought that was it.  I didn't know you were like me.  I didn't.  I really felt closer to you knowing we share this unique bond.  Now, as I experience it in my older years, I think about how we delt with this together and now we are apart.  Tiffany is really supportive of me.  I wonder and hope you have someone supportive of you too.  I miss you Sarah.  There's something to remind me of you every day.

For everybody else going through this, you are not alone.  I know it's crazy to wake up and not know what happened before.  I hate it.  Me and Sarah had each other.  We were never afraid together.  I feel for those who endure this alone.

I love you Sarah.  I hope you're safe.