Happy Valentine’s Day

Tiffany and I had dinner at a local seafood restaurant last night. We live in the San Francisco Bay area. This is a region in America of extreme diversity. This is a place where you can and will see it all. You would expect in a place this diverse with one of the largest gay and lesbian populations on earth that a lesbian couple could enjoy a nice Valentine's dinner without incident, but that was not the case last night.

Public displays of affection are normal for two people who are truly in love. A public display of affection doesn't have to be heavy petting, kissing, or graphic physical attention. It can be a simple matter of holding hands or wiping food from the corner of your beloved's mouth. Tiffany and I display our love in this fashion. I don't expect everyone to agree with our lifestyle.

I absolutely love seafood. I refuse to eat seafood in places that don't have an ocean within a five mile proximity. Land-locked states or inland valleys in California might as well not even have a seafood restaurant as far as I'm concerned. That's how I am about my seafood. Tiffany knows this and she knows where my favorite seafood restaurant is. She came home early and surprised me. I'm not big on date celebrations. I don't believe Valentine's Day is a day where I must express my love. I'm not bitter, it's just how I am but you know that already, Cuddlebug. Tiffany's not that way. She is big on all holidays. She gets this sparkle in her eyes I can't begin to explain. She turns into a little girl and it's like she's experiencing every holiday for the first time. I have come to expect her joyful mood and I embrace it. I get caught up in her love and energy and forget what day it is – holiday, weekend, I don't know. I just know that I love this woman and she loves me. She took me to my favorite seafood restaurant for Valentine's Day.

I ordered clam chowder, scallops, and beer-battered shrimp. Tiffany ordered shrimp cocktail and calamari. We enjoyed a bottle of white wine from a vineyard we stayed at on our honeymoon. The wine flowed and our conversation contained pure love. I held her hand across the table and we waited on dessert. We ordered a few slices of cheesecake. Both of our hands outstretched across the table. I do admit we kissed once, but it wasn't a long kiss. Our lips touched for only a few moments. Lost in her eyes, I didn’t notice the manager walking over to our table. He interrupted our trance. He said, "Excuse me ladies, but a couple has complained that their children are in the restaurant and they would like to have the public display of affection minimized." At first, I became self-conscious because there were children present. I felt bad and worst of all, I felt ashamed. In this day and age it is still taboo, especially for children, to see same sex public displays of affection. There's not enough education so those displays are very shocking to children and that's why I felt bad. I felt ashamed because in some sense I acknowledged we are supposed to be hidden. Then Tiffany said two magic words, "What kids?" I looked around in the restaurant and there were no children to be found. In that moment, I knew I wasn't going to eat dessert, nor was I every going to eat there again. I won't eat from the hands of people who don't approve of me. I asked the manager where the children were. He told us they left after the complaint. That's when I stood up and said, "You can't expect me to believe that. It's 10:00pm on Valentine's Day in the San Francisco Bay Area. If someone objected to two people in love enjoying themselves on Valentine's Day you and your staff should have said something to them, not us." I demanded the check, paid for our meal, and left that restaurant, never to return.

I cried last night. In this day and age, I can't understand how people can still put parameters on who can love who. My grandmother used to tell me that you can't put a bottle around happiness and sell it. Different things make different people happy. I can't believe the understanding of a person can be so limited that they could place their own personal standards on how someone else should be happy. If I found love, why should my love be subject to a different set of standards than someone else who's found love? The one thing I feel bad about from last night is that I felt ashamed. I'm not going to subscribe to the taboo of my relationship with Tiffany. I love her and she makes me happy. I love her and I make her happy. I'm not going to hide that or feel ashamed for anyone. That won't happen again. I just wish you would have said something, Sarah. I know you were there last night. I felt you. Stop hiding from me, Cuddlebug. I need you. I miss you. Don’t forget our promise. Write more later.