You Called My Name

I'm staring at a picture of you Sarah. I have wanted to post a picture ever since day one. In the beginning, there were pictures of you everywhere. Then, slowly the pictures went away. When we published your story, I wanted the world to see your face again. I wanted the world to see how beautiful you are, but for the sake of your own safety we decided against it. I am so scared for you.

I have received your message. I don't understand it. I went into the coffee shop like you said, on the computer. I've been waiting to hear something from you for so long. After reading your diary Sarah, I have been in a daze. I can't believe it. I have read this diary over and over again trying to figure it out. I have read this diary over and over again trying to understand it. Every time I turn to a new page, I hope and pray it brings me closer to you. I started this blog hoping it would give me a way to find you. After the first contact, I was extremely excited. My joy and sense of accomplishment climaxed when I received your message. I waited at the coffee shop for hours upon hours thinking how great it was going to be to see you again. I watched every person come and go until there were no more people left to watch. The coffee shop closed and my heart crushed underneath the weight of its doors. Since that heartbreak, I have sat in front of this computer waiting on a message from you and finally yesterday it came. I don't understand it.

Sarah, I know it's you because the name you called me in your message. No one knows me by that name. No one has ever called me by that name other than you. You are the one who gave me that name. I knew it was you the first time. That's why I waited at the coffee shop for so long. At that time I wondered if you had seen me. Now I know you did. Yesterday you told me to go the coffee shop and grab my favorite coffee. You told me it was your treat. I didn't know what that meant at the time. I went to the coffee shop a little early trying to catch you or see if you were there. You left a specific time for me to be there and you must have known I'd be there early because you were nowhere to be found. I went to the counter to see if there was an order placed for me. The cashier told me 'no.' My heart sank. I walked away dejected. On the verge of tears I exited the coffee shop. I walked almost to the sidewalk when I remembered and ran back in. The same cashier stood at the counter looking at me a little concerned. I walked into the cashier and said the name you gave me. The cashier turned to me and said, "yes" we have your order right here. It was my favorite order of coffee, a muffin, and a note. I asked the cashier 'who paid for this order?' She told me a gentleman paid for the order and left. I stood there for a moment wanting to ask a question but no question came to mind, so I took my order and walked away. It wasn't until I got home that I was able to read the message you left with the order. I still don't understand it. It read, "You will find me where the sunsets and the birds fly free."

Sara, I don't understand the message. I don't understand what you mean. Do you not want me to find you or are you in trouble? I know no one knows me by that name other than you. So who was that man? Who was the man who paid for my order? How can you watch me and not come talk to me? Sarah, if I find a way to the place where the sunsets and the birds fly free, I will make it to that place to find you. I'm not going to abandon you. I will be here for you. If you are hurt or afraid of the people you're with, I will be here for you whenever you come to me. Now that I know you are reading this, I will continue to write. I love you Cuddlebug. I miss you. Write more later.